By W. Thomas Leroux
When I started running back in December of 2019, I noticed other runners sometimes waving or giving a thumbs up. Initially, I thought they were signalling someone behind me, until I realized that it was just a thing runners did – we see each other and sometimes celebrate the movement (especially on days with rough weather).
Over time, I saw the benefit it had, decided it was time for an experiment, and then expanded the behaviour to include people out walking on the multi-use paths and on sidewalks in my immediate neighbourhood.
So, what do I do? Generally, very little, actually (and importantly, only when I’m in the mood). When crossing paths with someone, I will simply nod at them when I believe they’re looking at me (works best when wearing a hat that amplifies the movement), or sometimes simply raise my hand in a half-wave.
Now, I’m a white man in his fifties, so I have a few rules that I follow:
1) I do not concern myself with reciprocity. Some people will never reciprocate, for whatever reason, and that’s completely fine.
2) Generally, I avoid direct eye contact. Many people can feel that un-wanted/unexpected eye contact with strangers is threatening, so I do my best to be careful with it.
3) I speak only when spoken to – my end goal here is to always put the “control” of the situation in the other person’s hands.
Many people are perfectly content with simply silently acknowledging each other and moving on with our respective days. Sometimes, it becomes “hello” or “good morning/afternoon,” and grows from there. There are a bunch of people I regularly come across with whom I’ll sometimes end up stopping and having a conversation when we have time.
Now, my goal has been to simply be friendly. I’m from a small town in Quebec, where everyone knew everyone else, so it feels very natural to acknowledge people you see day-to-day, but I’ve been very fortunate to have built some connections with people I otherwise would never have met.
I’ve always believed that the strength of any community comes from the interconnections between the people who live in it. If we want a strong community, we have to spend the time making connections. From my perspective, this ongoing social experiment I’ve been conducting has shown me that the simple act of acknowledging each other does exactly that. It can start simply when you’re comfortable. Try nodding or waving to someone you’ve seen on your street before, or even nodding back to someone who has done so to you.
What ways have you found to connect with our community?
